ztf:

Top 25 Seinfeld Episodes

In honor of its 25th anniversary…

1) The Opposite

2) The Parking Garage

3) The Bizarro Jerry

4) The Red Dot

5) The Mango 

6) The Fix-Up

7) The Switch

8) The Pen

9) The Bubble Boy

10) The Doodle

11) The Hamptons

12) The Serenity Now

13) The Chinese Restaurant

14) The Junior Mint

15) The Engagement

16) The Pony Remark

17) The Yada Yada

18) The Subway

19) The Visa

20) The Contest

21) The Pez Dispenser

22) The Jacket

23) The Tape

24) The Pool Guy

25) The Cheever Letters

Honorable Mention: The Cartoon, The Chicken Roasters, The Cigar Store Indian, The Diplomat’s Club, The Limo, The Little Kicks, The Jimmy, The Movie, The Raincoats, The Soup

Twenty-Five Things That Seinfeld Has Taught The World

griffilioestevez:

  1. Funky Bass Guitar transitions between every minor part of the day are ALWAYS a great idea, no matter who you are.
  2. It is perfectly acceptable to dump someone if they eat their peas one at a time, or because they like a commercial that you don’t.
  3. If you look annoyed, people WILL think that you’re…
You stole my Jesus fish, didn’t you?

promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

thenemeton:

boys r so weak. boys r some pathetic shit. if u punch me in the boob my boob will still b able to sustain life for a new fuckin human. my boob can sustain the human race. if i kick u boys hard enough in the nuts u will never reproduce. ur genetic line is over bub. one well placed stiletto and u are getting shitty half-assed boners and no babies 4 life. who has the power son. who owns u. girls own u. i own u punk. sit down

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

"Cunt again? It was odd how men … used that word to demean women when it was the only part of a woman they valued."

-

 sheriff-swan:

— Asha Greyjoy, A Dance With Dragons   (via scrlett)

WHERE’S THAT GIF OF THE JUDGE BANGING THE GAVEL AND GOING OOOOOOOOOOH

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(via aryousavvy)

erraticartist:

cupsnake:

You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs

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but then suddenly ZOOP

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fucking green herons

What the fuck